Remember that old Arsenio Hall bit? The one that inspired that retarded C&C Music Factory song?

Anyway, why is that when you walk up to a house in the winter time, just as you step onto the porch, a light dusting of snow falls off the roof and lands right down the back of your jacket collar, totally freezing your neck?

First of all, there isn’t much room between your jacket collar and your neck. Yet snow somehow makes it down there everytime. Those of you in warm climates or that have long hair, don’t know this phenomenon, but trust me, it happens.

Where do all these award shows come from? Is this one of the “regulars”, like the Oscars or Grammy’s? Can I have an awards show? How about actors and actresses that I think suck. I’ll call it the Sucky Awards. I’ll give out crystal statues of toilet bowls.

“And the Sucky goes to, Jessica Simpson. For being a dumbfuck who can’t prenounce Massachusetts.”

It looks like this show was produced by 9th graders. The production direction is terrible. What’s the deal with these categories? Best on screen chemistry? Why not just name it “the award for Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler because they’re both coming”. Seriously. They showed a clip of all the actors that won awards that they’re not showing on camera, and there was some big actors. But they weren’t giving out these awards on TV because those people weren’t there. I wouldn’t mail it to them. For the sucky awards, if you didn’t show up to pick it up, it gets sold on Ebay. And the money goes right into my pocket. Suck on that celebs.

DUDE, why won’t someone just raise up the microphone? It’s like 3ft tall and everyone hs to bend over to use it. DAMMIT, JUST RAISE THE MIC!

Will Smith is the biggest actor there. I think he’s good though, so it’s nice to see him there. It’s funny, it’s very easy to guess who’s going to win each category, just bet on the one nominee that’s there. They’ve swept all the awards so far. So far Kelly owes me 60 bucks.

Will Smith might have just been leap-frogged. They just showed Mel Gibson in the crowd. They’re both 20 million dollar men, but Mel is Mel. Peronally, I like Will Smith better. But I have to give Mel the edge as far as star power goes. His Jesus movie must be nominated for something. I can’t think of anything else he’s done recently to qualify him for a seat there. Unless he was just walking down the street and they asked him to come in. How great would that be?

Oh yeah, why the hell is Malcolm Jamal Warner hosting again? Were the people in charge sitting around saying, you know who would be perfect? Theo from The Cosby Show. I can’t talk too much trash about him though, he’s scary. My man looks like the Predator. JUST LIKE the Predator. Creepy. Jason Alexander, the other host, is doing a pretty good job actually. That guy is pretty funny.

Okay, so we just hit a low point in the show. Michael Moore just won the people’s choice award for best movie for F911. It beat out Spiderman 2. Are you flippin’ kidding me? Man, the American public as a whole are idiots. At least the ones that voted for the People’s Choice awards.

That seals it. I’m starting the Sucky awards. Anyone know where I can get a crystal toilet?

I haven’t updated in a while, sorry. I actually upgraded my computer. My stuff came in on Friday. I upgraded mine, then took what I pulled out of my computer, and put it into Kel’s. Threw my secondary hard drive in to Kel’s, added XP, and she has her desktop back.

My computer is now a AMD Athlon64 3000+, 1024mb Mushkin RAM, a DFI Lanparty 250gb NForce3 motherboard, and a Chaintech Geforce 6600GT. Damn good times. I ran 3DMark03 before and after. With my old setup, AthlonXP 1600+, 512mb CorsairXMS, Asus A7N8X Deluxe and a GeForce4 Ti4600, I scored 1661 in 3DMark. With my new stup I scored 5430. Stock speeds. That’s a pretty good performance jump.

How many of you out there actually understood what I just said?

I will find out from Peter when he’s going to fix the comment thing. I should be talking to him today. I’ll post what’s going in as soon as I find out.