Top Gun
On one of the forums I frequent, we are in the middle of a 12 page long thread about movie trivia, in which I’m kicking everyones ass. Bad. Anyway, as a joke, someone started a thread with a poll that asked “which is the best movie of all time: Top Gun or Top Gun? It’s a joke, but this guy actually really likes this flick, and a bunch of other people chime in to say how much they like it and whatnot. Well, someone then posts the following, and I loved it!
It’s Quentin Tarintino in the movie “Sleep With Me”.
“What’s a film about, what’s it really about? What genre does it take?
[Duane: What, like the spine? Like one sentence?]
No, I don’t, *beep* boy meets girl, I don’t give a *beep* about that. *beep* boy meets girl, *beep* motorcycle movie. No, what is really being said? What’s really being said, that’s what you’re talking about. ‘Cause the whole idea, man, is subversion. You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest *beep* scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.
[Duane: Oh, come on.]
Top Gun is *beep* great. What is Top Gun? You think it’s a story about a bunch of fighter pilots. [Duane: It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.] It is a story about a man’s struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man.
You’ve got Maverick, all right? He’s on the edge, man. He’s right on the *beep* line, all right? And you’ve got Iceman, and all his crew. They’re gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they’re saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
[Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?]
Kelly McGillis, she’s heterosexuality. She’s saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They’re saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what’s going on throughout that whole movie…
He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they’re going to have sex, you know, they’re just kind of sitting back, he’s takin’ a shower and everything. They don’t have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She’s like, “What the *beep*, what the *beep* is going on here?” Next scene, next scene you see her, she’s in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She’s got the cap on, she’s got the aviator glasses, she’s wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy’s going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I’m do that through subterfuge, I’m gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it.
Okay, now let me just ask you–I’m gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she’s like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right?…
All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting *beep* force, all right? And they’re beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it’s over, and they *beep* land, and Iceman’s been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he’s got him, all right? And what is the last *beep* line that they have together? They’re all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, “Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!” And what does Maverick say? “You can ride mine!” Swordfight! Swordfight! *beep*’ A, man!”
No commentsAsshole celebrities
GOD DAMMIT SEANS PENNS A DICKHEAD!
Seriously. Drew and Mike were talking on the radio this morning about these idiot celebs that go to “help” out the victims of the hurricane. By help, I of course mean, bring down their publicist, a photographer, and a small press core to document them showing up in NO for what seem to be no god damn reason. I mean, Sean Penn went out in a boat to “rescue” victims, but he had so many people in his boat to document how fucking great he was, that he didn’t have any room for people! Then you have Oprah who shows up, only to be a big fat anchor to the effort because she’s doing a TV show. There are celebs out there that can contribute to the effort without having a photographer document everything they do. Not all celebs are bad. Did you even know that Kevin Smith was helping out? No? It’s because he didn’t have a fucking press conference to let everyone know he was. Geraldo Rivera, you know the asshole with the 70’s porn mustache that couldn’t be any farther disconnected from regualr society, rescued a woman from her house. When a second reporter went over to ask the doctor about the woman, the doctor replied “I’ve already seen this woman”. The reporter asked how he already saw this woman to which the doctor replied “Geraldo made her walk back to her house, and then back to the van again for a second take”.
Can you fucking beleive it.
All of these celebs that are helping only to get their name in the news make me sick. Stop trying to compete for the media time.
I love this quote from Darren Garnick of the Nashua Telegraph:
“Author John Grisham put up $5 million. Steven Spielberg, $1.5 million. George Clooney, $1 million. And ?Wheel of Fortune? host Pat Sajak chipped in $200,000 ? which proportionately makes him more generous than the previously mentioned bigwigs combined. “