So, the big news today is that Tom “Fucking Nuts” Cruise and Katie “Totally Brainwashed” Holmes finally had their baby. I’m trying hard to figure out why we’re supposed to give a shit. I mean, it was the headlining story on the news! The real news, not like on E Entertainment Television.

It’s the old trainwreck analogy right? It’s so bad watching this nut job self destruct on national TV all the time, that we can’t look away. This would explain all the media coverage. Although I did hear an interesting stat this morning. The interview with Tom Cruise that aired last week had horrible ratings. Second to a re-run of some show I’ve never heard of. So maybe he actually IS destroying any fan base that he might have had. I hope MI3 completely tanks. I loved the first two movies, but I’ve decided to not go see this one because I hate this douche clown so much.

I guess the baby is a miracle seeing how Tom Cruise is gay, and he fires blanks. I wonder what scientology priest, or professor, or whatever they are in that crazy cult, that this baby is going to look like. We might never know if we don’t see them before they are launched back to Jupiter. Fuckin wack jobs. There actaully is a Scientolgy center not too far from my house. I would love to go there and check it out, except I fear that I wouldn’t make it back. Who knows what kind of wicked brainwashing machines they have there.

I did hear someone refer to the kid as “Tom-Kitten”. Tom-Kitten? I can only guess that this is in reference to the nickname “Tom-Kat” given to the couple. What is it with the entertainment news giving couples these stupid nicknames. Is it so hard for us to say Tom and Katie, that we had to come up with some amalgalm of both of their names? Does saying Tom and Katie take too much time? Is hte staff of ET that busy? They did it with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie-Brangelina, Ben Affleck and J-Lo-Bennifer, and now TomKat for these two freaks.

From now on, Kelly and I will no longer be “Scott and Kelly”. It takes way too much time to say that. We are now “Scelly”. Use it in a sentence. “We are going to Scelly’s tonight”

See how much time you will save. Maybe I should start posting here like that. Eventually my posts will just be “T-e.” and you guys will have to fill in the content. It might suck for you readers, but think of how much time I will have.