Jun 12
um…in the filter?
Okay, so I’m home, minding my own business I might add, and all of a sudden, I hear Kel screaming bloody murder in the backyard.
Wait a second, what the hell does that mean “screaming bloody murder”? I mean, why not screaming “terrible car crash” or “screaming giant shark attack”?
Anyway, so Kels outside screaming “giant shark attack”. I run outside, expecting who knows what. I get out on the patio, and Kel runs up to me white as a ghost. I ask her what’s wrong and she says:
“THERE IS A GIANT RAT IN THE POOL FILTER!!”
I say: “WHAT?!?”
She repeats: “A GIANT RAT IN THE FILTER!”
At this point, I’m less concerned with something in the filter, and more concerned with the possibility of a big ass rat at our house. To me, that’s a bigger problem, and it would equal, time to get the fuck out of Warren.
I say: “Are you sure it’s a rat?”
She says: “I don’t know what the hell it is, it’s big and fuzzy and in the filter!”
She was a little frazzled. So I go over to pool at which point I decided that I was going to look down on it from the the deck. One, in case it’s alive, I don’t want it jumping on my face like in Alien, and two, to get a good look at what it is. (the catch for the filter, which is where this thing is stuck, is right next to the deck)
Well, I’m happy to say, it wasn’t a rat. It was, however, a big ass squirrel. We have this huge tree in our yard, kind of next to the pool. It’s about 15 feet away, but the branches hang over the pool. Apparently, this squirrel wasn’t as sure-footed as it thought, and it fell from the tree and landed in the pool. Now, it would appear that squirrels can’t swim.
I now, after all these years, completely understand that old video of the water skiing squirrel. The little bastard was too afraid to get off the skis, because it knew it would die.
Best guess is, it drowned in the pool, and then got sucked in the filter catch. So Kel says that she isn’t going to touch it. Now me, being the man of the house, born and raised in the suburbs of Detroit, I stated that there was no friggin way I was going to touch it. I’m not out-doorsy. It’s not my thing. I camp at the Holiday Inn. If, by some weird nuero-knee jerk reaction that happens to squirrels when they drown, I grabbed this thing, and it fucking moved, I’d lose it. Let’s just say that is a future therapy bill I just don’t need.
However, getting it out, and touching it are two different things. I may not be back-woodsy, but I’m smart. So I went in the garage, got a hook (I need it for my heater in there) and hooked the trap in the filter catch, and pulled the whole thing out. We then dumped the trap in a bag, then bagged that bag in a freezer bag, then bagged that bag in another bag. Our garbage pickup isn’t till next week, and we don’t want dead squirrel smell attracting any other animals, or just lingering outside since I would imagine, it’s not pleasant.
It would appear that my backyard is a death trap for small fuzzy animals. If you know any, tell them to stay away. If the lawn mower doesn’t get them, the pool will.
12 Comments so far
Leave a comment
we need to post the picture… lol
T thought about putting that up, still might actually.
so…. ya gonna put TWO gallons of clorene in the pool this week???? poor squirrel… it’s probably the one I saved from Jasmine last year! lol!
Thanks, I needed a good laugh this morning!!! Not a very pleasant find, I am sure Kel!!!
Actually, the first thing we did after fishing the corpse out of the filter, was dump another gallon of chlorine in the pool. Mostly, in the filter.
I wonder what a rotting squirrel carcus does to the PH levels.
SERIOUSLY… I put a WHOLE GALLON just in the filter… then I put in some algaecide just to be sure… LOL
Nice, I have had to fish 2 chipmunks out of my pond this year. So, it looks like chipmonks and squirrels can’t swin, learn something new everyday
WHERE THE HELL IS EDDIE ? DOESN’T HE EAT THESE GOD DAMN THINGS?
NOT SINCE HE READ THAT SQUIRRELS ARE HIGH IN CHOLESTEROL!
FUNNY SHIT.
The clorene level probably preserved him, he was probably still good to eat.
Wow, what a coincidence. Must be the year of “dead animals” in pools. Just prior to opening out pool, David went outside to check the water level of the pool. The cover was still on, due to the fact that we put the hose under the cover and fill prior to removing the cover. Because we have a deck flush with the pool, our cover is jacked up rigged and thats the way it has to be done. Anyway, I hear this scream, similar to Kel’s. He comes back in and says there is a racoon on the cover, apparently no longer alive. Dave goes out, as I am pacing the living room, and proceeds to tell me that is’ a black “cat”. You have got to be kidding me, how does a cat get onto a pool cover. We do get ducks that float on it, so maybe it chased one up there and fell in. So, Dave fishes the cat out of the water with a shovel. He is gagging as it is probably 3 times its normal size. He lets me know it’s wearing a collar. I make him see if there is any tags on the cat, which there is not. Pretty blue collar though. Low and behold, he tosses the cat in the creek behind the house. I, being the animal lover I am, check all the papers, web, etc. looking for lost black cats.
A couple of days later, this guy knocks on our door. He hands Dave a flyer about his missing cat. Oh shit! Dave asks how long the cat has been missing, he says just a few days. He then asks if it had on a blue collar, guys says no. Thank GOD! How do you tell a guy that his cat is floating down the creek somewhere!!!
Sucks about the cat, but something else you said got my attention.
So, it’s normal for ducks to swin in the muck on top of the pool cover before you open it? For the past two years we’ve had ducks on our pool. Obviously they don’t go in it after we open it, but it’s nice to know that it’s normal, and that we don’t have a pool of skank.
OH MY GOD Aunt Deb… a poor kitty…
that is SO SAD… poor David..